TV REVIEW: True Blood’s Season 7 Premiere “A Bunch of People Talk Crap About Sookie”

Quiz time: Pick a supernatural power to possess:

A. Telepathy

B. The power of flight

C. The power to magically make a large pizza appear in front of you at the blink of an eye

D. Invisibility

E. The ability to turn into a sloth at will

If you chose E, you would be correct! If you chose C, you’re also right.  But if you chose A, then best of luck to you! The power of telepathy sounds awesome, it really does; add being a magical faerie to the equation and you are really something special.  But what if your telepathy made you hear some not so great things about yourself? What if everyone was secretly calling you a ‘slut’ and a ‘life ruiner’ in their heads?

That seemed to be the case for Ms. Sookie Stackhouse this week. The resident Bon Temps telepath and all her friends are back for one last season of HBO’s True Blood and this year kicked off with a bunch of people talking crap about Sookie.  There was also a major death, a game of Vampire-Russian roulette, and lots of sexy time on top of a car.

Picking up immediately where last season left off, the ravenous Hep-V infected vampires had found their way to Bon Temps.  In their wake they left carnage, kidnapped some good people (Arlene, Holly, and that girl from Friday Night Lights who Sam is having a baby with), and most importantly left one of the shows most beloved characters in a pile of blood and guts.  Yes, Tara had finally met the True Death in a deadly fight against a diseased vampire; at least that’s what Lettie Mae lead us to believe.

Grieving and unable to control her emotions, Sookie gave into her faerie instincts, letting her telepathy take front seat to all the chaos around her.  Among the voices were many residents calling the blonde a ‘slut’ and blaming her for the events taking place.  Even boyfriend Alcide wasn’t too happy with Sookie, putting some of the blame on her through his thoughts.  All the mayhem proved too much for Sookie, as she wandered home alone, casually coming across a dead body and leaving it there like it was any other Sunday.

Over in Jessica’s neck of the woods, the fiery vamp had promised to protect Andy’s daughter Adilyn.  The baby vampire kept her word, even proving to Adilyn that she could, in fact, be trusted even though she had murdered the rest of Andy’s teenage faerie daughters.

In an odder turn of events, Willa of all people was helping Lettie Mae arrive safely back home.  The grief-stricken mother was inconsolable, adamant that she could physically see Tara in the room with them.

But what was Tara’s maker doing? With no sight of Pam in Bon Temps it was only a matter of time before we found out just exactly what Tara’s full-time maker/part-time lover was up to and it was kind of messy.

Pam had traveled across the seas to find Eric; somehow ending up in an ugly game of Russian roulette, starring her and another vampire.  Luckily for Pam, she had come out on top after listening to her opponent yap on about not being afraid of death and finding religion (then ironically meeting the True Death not thirty seconds later).

Pam’s victory granted her the information needed to continue her journey to find her maker.  In a truly fantastic moment, Pam rejected the blood of an innocent child.  The starving vampire, though tough and ruthless, showed the slightest bit of compassion when confronted with a heinous situation.

In another underrated moment, and probably the most heartfelt scene of the episode, Jessica’s new beau, a re-casted James, helped a distressed Lafayette home.  There James revealed to Lafayette, over a few needed bong hits, his background of watching all of his friends ship off to the Vietnam war and his strife as he watched none of them return.  In a shocking and ambiguous moment we learned just how James became a vampire: he had gone to pay respects when his deceased best friend’s father beat him to the point of death.  Insinuating that James may have had more than just a friendship with the boy, the vampire recounted that the town’s resident bloodsucker had taken pity on him, turning him that very same night.  Lafayette couldn’t help but feel a sense of closeness to his new friend, letting him feed to signify their unique bond.

Quick Thoughts:

• Tara’s off-screen death.  Really? A death so big and it couldn’t even take place on-screen for viewers to properly mourn.
• Which leads to my next question: Why couldn’t Pam feel Tara’s death? True Blood has done a great job at depicting the truly strong bond between a maker and his/her progeny.  Tara’s death should have taken an immediate toll on Pam.
• Jason’s naked romp on the hood of his car with new vampire girlfriend Violet. Still not sure where exactly this relationship is leading, but whichever way it’s going Violet is the one pulling the strings.
• Oh yeah, Bill and Andy teamed up.  That was…something.
• How many Hep-V infected vampires are now out there?
• What was that abrupt ending of Sookie telling off the church full of people?
• WHERE THE HECK IS ERIC!?