TV REVIEW: True Blood Series Finale “Thank You”

There’s no pleasing everyone.

That’s what I’ve learned in the game of series finales. While some satisfy, fail to impress or even make us rage with fiery passion (yeah, I’m still looking at you Dexter and How I Met Your Mother) True Blood’s final episode “Thank You,” didn’t solicit feelings of pure joy or hate; it simply left me saying “thank you.”

So, let’s discuss that final installment. Goodbyes were said, heartbreaking choices were made, a wedding took place, and lots of babies were born!

After being called upon, Sookie and Bill once again discussed his ridiculous suicide wishes.  In the most selfish plan he had thought of yet, Bill urged Sookie to use her fairy ball on him, ending him for good and rendering her human.  While this decision was smart in Bill’s head, it completely undermined Sookie and her wishes.  Although she had spoken numerous times about no longer wanting to be fae, the decision was hers and hers alone to make.

Over at Fangtasia, Eric’s final plan was simple: he would kill Mr. Gus and the Yakuza, free Sarah, and take her curative blood and seize the New Blood empire for himself and Pam.  The simplicity of his plan was brilliant as the Yakuza remained slow and steady humans up against a one thousand year old Viking God as he murdered them all and drove away in their tacky sports car, head-bobbing to horrible EDM.

Feeding Sarah her blood, Pam was given the ability to track her to the carousel where Eric had turned Willa.  Her explanation for the hideout was the craziest yet; Sarah begged Pam to turn her into a vampire in exchange for becoming Pam’s sex slave.  Pam laughed at the blonde, taking her inoculation against Hep-V instead.  Sorry, Sarah.

Jessica returned home from her tryst with Hoyt only to be met by a weaker looking Bill.  They shared a sweet moment as Bill embarrassed his vampire daughter in front of Hoyt, asking if he had plans on marrying Jess.  Jessica was upset, but it turned out to be for the best as her and Hoyt decided that there was no time like the present.  Bill would be able to give Jessica away before he died and see her marry, something he was never able to do for his human daughter.

The wedding was short and sweet.  Not only were Jessica and Hoyt illegally wed, but Bill outwardly left his estate to his eldest living relative, Andy.  He would be able to rent the house to Jessica and Hoyt for one dollar a month, given that they remembered to pay.  The wedding also sent loving thoughts through Bill’s mind, thoughts that Sookie could hear for the first time.

Bill’s thoughts sent Sookie over to the church where she was met by Reverend Daniels.  The uneasy feelings she was having about using her fairy light on Bill and becoming human were put to rest as the Reverend assured her that God’s plans were for humans to use their brains for their own free will and changing oneself was not a sin.

Sookie rushed to make arrangements at the cemetery as she made her final decision.  Asking Bill to meet her at sundown, she informed the dying vampire that she would, in fact, use the last of her light to grant Bill his death wish.  As Bill climbed into his dug out grave, he opened his coffin, only to find the picture of him and his human daughter waiting for him.  Sookie began to conjure up her light ball but suddenly froze.  She turned to Bill and declared that no matter how many downfalls her fairy heritage had brought her, it was what she was inside and out; she could not deny herself of it.  Opting instead for a broken shovel handle, Sookie climbed into Bill’s grave and on top of him in his coffin, pressing down with his help and bringing Bill to the True Death.  RIP Bill.  (Not going to lie, I was more worried about how Sookie was going to climb out of his grave.)

1 Year Later:

Eric and Pam had become the sole CEO’s of New Blood, shooting their commercial spot.

3 Years Later:

Eric and Pam had taken New Blood public and had become billionaires.

The next Thanksgiving, a happily(?) ever after:

Sookie had become pregnant by an unidentified man.  A nice touch as she is finally living the life that Bill has wished for her.  It was never who she was with than it was about Sookie accepting herself and making a life that she wanted.

Jason had, not surprisingly, married Hoyt’s ex, Bridget, and had three little girls.  Over the course of four years they seemed to have procreated rather quickly.

A happy Sam returned for a Thanksgiving feast with Nicole and his now two children from Dillon, Texas Chicago.

Eric and Pam had also returned Fangtasia to its rightful glory, with Eric once again perched on his throne.  An expensive secret in the basement depicted Sarah being prostituted out for her blood, forced to hallucinate Steve Newlin for as long as she survives with nothing to be thankful for.

Lafayette/James, Jessica/Hoyt, Andy/Holly, Arlene/Keith, Willa, Reverend Daniels/Tara’s mom, Jason and family, Sookie and her mystery man, and the rest of the Louisiana clan seemed to be thankful to have each other as they sat down to enjoy a huge Thanksgiving feast.

Final thoughts:

• Can we get the elephant in the room out of the way? Yes, I read those ridiculous spoilers weeks ago and I am so happy they weren’t true.  For those still in the dark, I’ll fill you in: spoilers began circulating several weeks ago that Sookie’s Hep-V infected fairy blood would accelerate Bill’s virus into turning him human.  While this ending would have been joyous news to the Bill/Sookie fans out there, it would have completely taken away from the poignant speeches and story put forth in the last few episodes.

• Are you sad to see a Bill-less Bon Temps?

• I would have been interested to see if Hoyt, Lafayette, and/or Arlene were made into a vampire at the hands of their lovers.

• I’m disappointed in the lack of Lafayette/James and Arlene/Keith in the finale.  Let’s make a spinoff of only them.

• I would have also opted for a Sookie and Tara flashback scene that would have allowed Rutina to come back for the finale.  I’m still more upset over Tara’s sloppy death than I am over Bill’s.

• All hail Viking King Eric!

• Overall, I remain satisfied with the finale.  The show has been plagued with problems for several seasons now and this ending was just fine for what the show had become.