TV REVIEW: Revenge Brings Down the House in “Burn”

It’s been a shock a minute this season on Revenge with characters leaving and game changing reveals. What could be bigger than Emily confessing that she’s really Amanda Clarke? Before you say nothing, read on.

A New Triad of Crazy

This one begins in typical Revenge fashion. Victoria’s plotting with Margaux, the pair still bonding over Emily hatred. Louise shows up, much to the chagrin of the French woman who’s apparently not over the whole attempted murder in the sauna ordeal. Red is making her move to become Vicky’s new BFF, saying she needs to face the scandal head on, not hide out like she’s got something to be ashamed of.

Louise and Victoria head out to the dark and dank parking garage, so you know something bad’s about to go down. While Louise gets the car, Queen V is attacked, punched and kicked. It’s a woman dressed all in black, hoodie pulled up, and I think I spotted a red Sharpie dangling out of her back pocket. Victoria tells Louise it was Emily. Nah, too obvious. Victoria doesn’t tell the cops who she suspects leaving Louise confused. She pleads with Victoria to turn in Emily who was obviously trying to get back the evidence on the flash drive. No way. Emily’s not that sloppy. When she goes for the drive, she’ll get that drive.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

The will they or won’t they continues in “Burn” with the Jack/Emily tease. Jack’s at Amanda, er, Emily’s grave with a new marker with her real name. Emily, er, the real Amanda shows up to talk about the future saying when she gets this evidence back she’s done “for good.” Jack looks unconvinced. Can we blame the guy?

Later we get more Jack and Nolan bar confessionals. Jack’s collecting his last paycheck as in he’s leaving town, moving to LA for a “fresh start.” Wait, do people actually move to LA for anything fresh? Nolan isn’t having it. You mean I set up that whole daycare thing for nothing?

(ABC/Richard Cartwright)
NICK WECHSLER

He asks his buddy, “Have you talked to Emily? She loves you Jack.” Don’t you adore how Nolan is the biggest Jemily shipper of all?

“I can’t hear that right now… this life is all she’s known. It’s turned into something she can’t let go of or doesn’t want to,” Jack answers. I think that means no, he hasn’t told Emily.

Nolan rushes to Emily telling her to go for it, grab a happily ever after with Jack. “The only thing stopping you from choosing Jack is you.” She says she doesn’t deserve him. Of course, Ben walks in at that exact moment saying he’s known all along she was just “hiding” with him, not living. And exit stage left Boring Ben.

Nolan says buh, bye adding “Jack’s flight leaves in 20 minutes.” The race is on…

Emily tries to call Jack, but he’s not answering. I guess voicemail is out.

With music crescendoing, we see Emily running through the airport to catch Jack. She’s too late and the plane takes off. Damn, she just missed him. It’s a little hilarious that the crestfallen look on Ems’ face makes it seem that he’s jettisoning off to another universe and not just LA, but we’ll overlook it considering planes do have a way of falling from the sky on Revenge. Alas, that is not the true shocker in tonight’s episode.

Nolan Make-up and Sexy Time

Flash to a runway show with Nolan checking out the models, I mean clothes, with social worker Tony, who needs a total makeover, and Nolan’s more than happy to oblige. It seems social worker is all into social causes and has a big shindig for his foundation later that night.

Don’t you love that Nolan shops straight off the runway, not straight off the rack? He’s such a fancy pants even for the Hamptons.

The party turns into a Louise crazy fest with jilted wife showing up to create a huge scene and dump wine on Tony’s new Nolan-paid-for suit. Gasp!

Nolan lets Louise have it saying she picked the wrong side. He also lets her know that she’s in way over her head. While she is trying to record a confession from him, he runs an app that resets her phone to its factory settings. “Like I said, you, head, over.”

The sexy time comes a calling when Tony shows up more appreciative than upset at the Louise outburst. They forget all about Red (and that’s a hard thing to do) with a little make-out session. Finally, has Nolan made a love connection? Maybe someone with no connection to any Grayson, to Emily, and with no hidden agenda? Hmmm, we shall see. You know they say you need to look out for the quiet ones.

In addition to make-out time, it was also make-up time in “Burn,” coming with a Nemily reunion. Emily’s still being all pissy with her bestie, not happy with his incriminating, secret back up files that Victoria now holds.

“I’m terrified everything’s about to come undone because of me,” Nolan admits. He says his Emily time has been the best part of his life. “I hate that I failed you. I don’t want to lose you.”

Who can resist that? Especially not when delivered by Nolan in that on point, striped suit.

“Sometimes I’m so focused on the fight I don’t see what’s in front of me… we’re a team. We’re going to get through this cause that’s what we do.”

Nolan + Emily = Besties forever

We can die happy now. Speaking of dying… well, more on that in a bit.

(ABC/Richard Cartwright)
EMILY VANCAMP

Because He Just Hasn’t Gone Through Enough

David’s in a bad mood and he wastes no time in taking it out on Stevie. He practically bites her head off, later admitting it’s him, not her. In a “why add this plot point now” move, Revenge writers decide David Clarke has not gone through enough. It turns out he has lymphoma and has to start chemo immediately. We’ll overlook this seeming misstep because tonight’s episode held so many interesting, intriguing, and flat out what the heck moments.

It did set up for a nice Stevie hitting on David scene as she passes on the name of a good oncologist as well as her own digits. Old people Cialis time. Cute.

Emily says, “Check!”

You knew it was only a matter of time before Emily ended up with the flash drive, but how does she get the evidence back? She pulls a move from Chicago Fire and stages a blaze at Victoria’s hotel. She dons a turnout coat sneaking up to the Grayson suite and snags that pesky little drive. Man, that thing has seen some action … thrown off a cliff, buried in the sand, and now in a fake fire.

Emily tells David, “For the first time in my life, there are no more battles to fight.” She’s got her hands on the evidence and now it’s finally over.

Victoria says, “Checkmate!”

Victoria is plotting something big, something truly surprising. She waits for her shady “bodyguard” who rolls up in a shady van (of course). He’s managed to get what she was waiting for. Her old chair is sitting in the back of that van. So her big plan has something to do with her big throne? What the heck is up those pure silk sleeves, Vicky?

Margaux and Louise are now apparently friends as they share a drink with Margaux saying Victoria seemed “so different today.”
Well, she’s about to give a big middle finger “checkmate” to her arch enemy in the biggest surprise of the season.

Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

Victoria’s back at her place dressed in red sequins, sporting flawless red lips to go with her flawless hair. Her throne is in place front and center. She slowly turns the gas on in her fireplace. Oh no, you are not doing what we think you are?!
We flash back to the airport where Emily is watching her Jack fly off across the universe when a car rolls up, and who walks out? Mason Treadwell. The jailbird is not happy with his promised “exclusive” blown when Emily revealed to the world that she’s Amanda. He waxes philosophical, saying, “Everyone around you evolved while you focused only on revenge … all you have left are enemies… you can’t exist without revenge…it’s your addiction.” We’d say low blow, Mason if it weren’t for that final scene.

We see Victoria holding a LIGHTER in her hands, she flicks it open and BOOM! The manor blows in a huge fireball of special effects that had the look of Hiroshima. No one’s getting out of there alive.

What? Victoria is dead? She done killed herself? Does Revenge even exist without Victoria Grayson? I guess we’ll find out next week as the season winds down with only three more episodes.

This one, much like last week’s offering, had the feel of an ending, a series, not season finale. The stage has been set for some resolutions of epic proportion. THE villain of Revenge is dead, Emily’s revengenda has been fulfilled, and Jack is apparently waiting in sunny Lala land. There may be some irritating murder charges to fight (a Victoria frame for sure), but that shouldn’t take more than one episode to squash. So that leaves a few loose ends to be tied up, perhaps a tragic daddy death scene, and then the beautiful Miss Emily riding off on a white horse with her knight in shining armor, Jack.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t praise and thank the always stunning Madeleine Stowe for her perfect portrayal of Victoria Grayson. You wore that villain (and every body hugging dress) so damn well! RIP Cruella Da Vicky. You will be missed.

Revenge airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on ABC.