TV REVIEW: Covert Affairs “Elevate Me Later” is the Best Installment of the Year

This week we were treated to the Covert Affairs equivalent of a Christmas Episode – it’s this season’s token “Auggie goes on a mission” episode, and it’s the best instalment of the year so far.

We begin this week’s show with Auggie in bed with recent gal pal Hayley, a plotline I would usually dismiss as too irrelevant to mention – except that it becomes relevant this week. Because this episode revolves around the return of Auggie’s ex girlfriend Natasha – the awesome Russian computer hacker we met in season one.

Eric, the food-loving techie from the basement, handily reminds us who Natasha is. “We know who she is,” Auggie snaps, but I guess that bit of exposition was there for those of us who didn’t spend the hiatus re-watching Covert Affairs on an infinite loop. But Auggie was right – we all remember who Natasha was, because she was fantastic.

But before we get a chance to reconcile with Auggie’s best ever ex-girlfriend, we better see what his second best ever ex-girlfriend, Annie Walker is up to. She’s pummelling a punching bag in her apartment, when she gets a phone call from her sister Danielle and they have a nice little chat. Just kidding. Did Annie ever actually let Danielle know she isn’t dead? That seems like a massive oversight. Does Annie even remember she once had a life outside of the CIA?

We all know she doesn’t. And that’s fine – no domestic ties or commitments means she is free to accompany Auggie to Paris this week to track down Natasha – who, as it turns out, literally holds the key to unlocking the mystery of the Chicago CIA bombing from the first episode.

Meanwhile, speaking of bombing from the first episode – what’s everyone’s favourite character Calder up to this week? He only gets about three lines, most of which come about as Joan tries to set him up with some random she found in the hall. I quite like Joan as matchmaker, but Calder doesn’t. He’s all like, “No thanks, I only date prostitutes, not people I just met in the hall” and he and Joan share a tense moment.

Pictured: (l-r) Christopher Gorham as Auggie Anderson, Piper Perabo as Annie Walker, Kari Matchett as Joan Campbell — (Photo by: Ian Watson/USA Network)

Over on the other side the Atlantic,  the main action this week takes place on location in Paris, as Auggie goes back into the field to meet up with his old Russian flame. Natasha takes immediate offence over the fact that Auggie only wants to use her for a CIA mission. Come on Natasha, what did you think he wanted? That seemed a little silly. But things are about to get sillier – as Auggie makes a heartfelt plea towards her, claiming that he has really “missed her” during their time apart.

Okay, I’m not a professional intelligence gatherer myself, but I do know the following – since we last saw Natasha, Auggie has been engaged, had his ex-wife come back from the dead, had a serious relationship with Annie, and dated the pink power ranger. Just exactly when was he finding the physical time to “miss” Natasha, let alone the emotional? Natasha herself dismisses this as “spy bullshit”, but eventually ends up relenting and the two of them spend the night together, after which she agrees to help them. But only if they can help her.

In the meantime, it’s not just Auggie this week getting a rare chance to go out into the field. In case you’d forgotten Arthur Campbell was kind of a spy, he  is allowed out of the office this episode, on a mission to “Iraq”. At least, it says on the screen that we’re in Iraq. Conveniently, most of the scenes take place in a corridor, and inside of a car with very dusty windows. It gets incredibly dusty in fake Iraq – makes sure to pack long loose clothing when you’re fake-packing.

Pictured: (l-r) Christopher Gorham as Auggie Anderson, Piper Perabo as Annie Walker — (Photo by: Roger Do Minh/USA Network)

Actually screw that – make sure you pack a bullet proof vest. Iraq might be fake but this machine gun fire seems pretty real. Of course Arthur manages to dodge all three thousand rapid-fire bullets and is back on the McQuaid private jet before he even has a chance to get his passport fake stamped.

Back in DC Joan storms into the Covert Affairs‘ all purpose “upstairs office” which has previously housed Jai, Auggie, Arthur, and now Calder. A hapless assistant almost gets knocked out of the way as she swings the door open with some force. He stammers the old “I tried to stop her, sir!” line, but I really doubt he did. Joan tells Calder he’d better submit to her matchmaking skills, or else the entire CIA could be under threat.

However, Calder is being no help at all this week, as he not only refuses to listen to Joan, he also refuses help to Annie and Auggie over in Paris. He has to deliver the unfortunate news that, even if Natasha grants them access to her key, they can’t grant her immunity in return. Annie realises that Auggie’s feelings for Natasha have compromised his mission, so she forms a contingency plan which involves her drugging a former KGB agent to get the info another way. It’s Auggie’s week, so we won’t focus on Annie’s sub-mission too much, although it is an entertaining couple of scenes.

Unfortunately Natasha discovers that not only can the CIA not help her, they’ve gone behind her back to get the key. She blames Auggie. Auggie then blames Annie. No one is happy. But at least they’ve got Natasha’s key! Maybe next week we’ll wrap up this tried Chicago bombing storyline! Not likely, hey. Well we can dream.

Next week is shaping up to be interesting anyway. Due to Annie’s helpful meddling, Natasha decides to forgive Auggie and turns up at his doorstep in the final shot. Just as Hayley calls his cell phone. Who will he pick? Who cares as long as Natasha sticks around for a few more weeks.