TV REVIEW: Chicago PD’s “Chicken, Dynamite, Chainsaw” AKA Big Guns, Bad Dads & a Gun Buyback

Chicago PD’s “Chicken, Dynamite, Chainsaw” featured none of those items in the latest episode, but did just fine with its hunky guys, heart stopping action scenes, and twisty turns that leave you going, “What?!”

The best thing about CPD isn’t its top notch acting, tight storytelling, or old school cop show charm. It’s the way this Chicago show knows just what it is, has a vision of where it’s going, and sure as heck gets there. It is consistent. That doesn’t sound as exciting as some Blacklister crossing off names on his special list or shuffling zombies doing what zombies do, but it is. On a network where its older, big brother struggles to find an identity… am I a soap opera? An action packed procedural? A comedy? Chicago PD is consistent and consistently good. Let’s take a look at what went down without a chicken, no dynamite and sans chainsaw.

The Sexy World of Gun Buybacks

This one opens with an especially grumpy Platt letting Burgess and Roman know they drew the coveted gun buyback duty. Roman asks, “What’s that?” Are you qualified to use a gun if you have to ask that. People turn in guns, you give them gift cards, money, back rubs, no questions asked. Oh, this should go well.

They’re less than thrilled with their little buyback tent, taking in all things gun, small handguns, shotguns, BB guns, nerf super soakers. Roman apparently has a photographic gun memory and recognizes a gun that was involved in a triple homicide. Leave it to these overly enthusiastic try hards to turn a tent sale into a homicide investigation. Platt is unamused when they report back. “If the community thinks questions are asked, guns won’t be turned in.”

Our duo is undeterred, on the case of the woman who turned in the homicide gun. They track down Miss Birdy who tells them she threw away the paper and rags the gun was wrapped in.

“Chicken dynamite chainsaw,” Burgess says. She explains it’s like rock paper scissors on who’s going to go dumpster diving for the evidence.

By episode’s end, the cops are reprimanded by Platt for their police work. You were supposed to be handing out gift cards. Roman gets particularly offended. I wonder what his story is? Last week, he stink eyed Olinsky’s cap off, now he’s having a hissy about Platt. Hmmmm, will be interesting to see what happens with this one.

Uber Is the Root of All Evil

The big case of the night is the kidnapping of two teen girls, one a prominent politician’s daughter. The girls are straight A, Honor Society, girl Eagle Scout types just leaving the library in a waiting Uber car. “What the hell’s an Uber?” asks Olinsky. Hilarious. The car is found with blood all over the front seat trailing outside. Olinsky, Voight, and Antonio find the Uber driver bloodied, bound, and bonked on the head. Note to self – take Lyft next time. The driver says he was attacked by two men and shocker of the night… the teens were NOT at the library. They were at Central Chicago dormitory, more specifically a boy’s dorm room.

Antonio and Atwater show up to question dorm boy and it looks like Cheech and Chong’s illegitimate son, with a bowl cut, looking a little like he’s taking the victory lap, for the third time. Is this guy even in his twenties?

This goes nowhere with dorm boy having no information about the missing girls. Dawson gets a call from Ruzek; they got a ping on the driver’s phone. Our cops show up at an abandoned school in time to see a girl flying through a window, gunshots following.

Our cops run into the building taking heavy fire from two bad guys in ski masks; one’s shot dead, the other gets away for now.

Pictured: Jason Beghe as Hank Voight — (Photo by: Matt

Surprise Visitors

Our first unexpected guest tonight is Antonio’s daughter, Eva, who shows up at the station much to the chagrin of dad. She came by herself. and Antonio is not happy. “You’re grounded. As grounded as you’ve ever been.” He puts Nadia on babysitting duty, saying “Watch my very in trouble daughter, Eva.” Nadia’s got that caring and compassionate thing down almost as well as Erin. Almost.

Antonio tries to make up with daughter later, softening his tone, saying he’s sorry. “I wanted to see you,” she says crying. “Your ma and I, we’re still figuring things out.” Eva cries more. Antonio says, “You, Diego and me. We’re a knot that will never come undone.” Aw, it’s a love knot.

The next unexpected guest, a Justin ex-girlfriend, shows up to talk to Hank. Guess what? You’re going to be a granddaddy! Voight’s shocked, trying to take in the news amidst all the cop stuff. Later, Justin’s baby mama is at Voight’s house; he’s feeding her a big meal. She looks a little guilty, rambles on about trying to get PT certified, living with an aunt rent free. Voight goes to his money vault retrieving a wad for the girl. Grandpa Hank. It does have a certain ring to it.

No Father of the Year Awards Tonight

The politician dad is questioned by Voight at the office. That paperwork will not do itself, he says when Voight questions him about going to work when his daughter is missing. Hank asks him to compose a list of everyone who has something against him. He hands off the list and it’s a mighty one. Dad looks guilty of something.

The window flying girl didn’t luck out in the dad department either. Voight discovers that this dad was in cahoots with the ski-mask bad guy who got away. He owed him money, so now the guy’s out for blood – his or his daughter’s.

Mom of dead kidnapper says her son was probably working with resident troublemaker, Reed Dryer. Turns out that the dad didn’t pay up on a Reed deal so now the guys are out for blood. Daughter and wife tell him he better tell everything. Now! He does.

Pictured: (l-r) Sophia Bush as Erin Lindsay, Jon Seda as Antonio Dawson — (Photo by: Matt Dinerstein/NBC)

The Save

Halstead goes sniper mode on a roof. Is he old enough to handle a gun like that? I’m demanding an ID check. He sees two people on the second floor of an old school.

And behind door number one? Politician dad is in the room, paying off the bad guy. He ends up getting shot in the shoulder. Bad dad’s are all around.

The brain trust that is Atwater and Ruzek are trying to figure out where bad guy’s got Allison stashed. They come up with Miss Scarlett in the Study. Nope, they come up with music room. She’s in there, safe and sound. It was a good night for solving crime.

In the final scenes, we have Roman hitting up Antonio to work security that night. A guy canceled on him. Antonio bites. He shows up dressed for a GQ shoot, I mean the security job. A ritzy guy (using that term loosely) needs personal security. His wife saunters down a staircase giving Antonio a looooook. He reciprocates, asking Laura who?

Halstead and Lindsay have to gun requalify so they’re at the range, flirting, shooting, flirting. I said there would be Linstead by episode four and darn if those writers aren’t surprising me by holding back on the pairing.

So what did you think of this crazy, bad dad caper? Weren’t those scenes with Sophia Bush and the injured window jumper amazing? More importantly, why haven’t we had any Fire crossovers other than Mills and Brett showing up to transport a victim because they are the only ambo in Chicago. Those seamless connections that were promised haven’t materialized.

Next week looks intense with a Voight centric episode. Who’s excited to watch old raspy voice get himself out of scary situation and do anything he can to catch the bad guy?

Chicago PD airs Wednesdays on NBC at 10 pm.