‘This Is Us’ Season 3, Episode 17 ‘R & B’ Recap: Arguing Through The Ages

Last week’s episode on This Is Us was a heavenly break from all the tension building up. But, now This Is Us is back with “R & B,” and it has amped the tension like never before. Though the Randall (Sterling K. Brown) and Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) history is probably one of the most wanted backstories in this show, the arguing is just gruesome. Even Rebecca and Jack didn’t have one whole episode dedicated to them arguing 70% of the time. And here, we get to see one of the most charming, compelling, endearing, and lovable couple springing loose from their knot.

In “R & B,” we get a rundown on how the whole Randall and Beth power duo started; from the first date to the first argument to the epic proposal and the marriage. We see how their relationship evolves and withstands whatever comes their way. But, in their current situation, things are not going like the old times. Beth is fighting for her dream. And Randall is fighting for his as well. And neither of them is willing to bend this time.

The First Date

After that barely disastrous dinner, Randall refuses to sleep at his office in Philadelphia. He comes home and demands to talk about their situation. He tries to apologize for that harsh voicemail but, the damage has been done, and Beth hears none of it. Instead, the argument spirals back to how Beth feels like Randall’s unsupportive of her dream and how he makes it all about him. As she recalls, it has been the same argument ever since the beginning.

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In the past, back in their college days, Randall asks Kevin for help to land a date with Beth. Having nothing better to do, Kevin decides to be their matchmaker. And surprisingly, Kevin’s “You may not know who I am but, you’re about to” line works. Randall takes Beth to a fancy restaurant. And though the conversation starts awkwardly, it flows more smoothly once Randall mentions dance. Then, he trails off to his adoption story and to Jack’s death. Beth relates to him with her own father’s death.

When they try to make an order, however, their server asks for them to pay their bill first. Without hesitation, Randall brings out his checkbook. But, Beth had other thoughts. Taking the check away from Randall’s hands, she gets up and leaves. Randall catches up to her and tries to change her mind but, for her, everything’s too much already. Her idea of a perfect date is simply nachos and ginger beer. Randall explains that he did everything so amped up because he thought she deserved everything. Unfortunately, the sweet sentiment didn’t get Beth to stay. Even though he was rejected, Randall came home that night knowing he was going to marry her.

The Proposal

Fast forward to a few years later, Randall proposes to Beth in their little apartment after busting out some moves and tunes. But, no amount of ass shaking could still get Beth to say yes. It turns out; he’s been trying to get a yes for a couple of times now. And it’s because Beth isn’t ready to get married yet. Later on, Randall reminds Beth of Sunday dinner at Rebecca’s. But, Beth proposes golf instead, and though she only meant for the two of them, Randall excitedly takes his mom with them.

When Beth finds out that Randall told his mom about all the proposals, however, she snaps. And she finally admits that she’s holding back on marriage because she doesn’t want Randall’s life to consume hers. Later on, Rebecca (Mandy Moore) talks to Beth and tells her about the time Randall cried when they were stargazing when he was about 11 years old. It was because he was afraid because he didn’t know where he fits in the world. But, when he met Beth, he told his mom that he didn’t have that fear anymore.

Filled with determination, Beth commandeers Randall to a little resto and orders him to not ask anything until she’s had her fill of nachos and ginger beer. When she’s finally calmed down, she tells him to pop her the question. But, before he could go down on one knee, she makes a deal with him that they’ll be a team, two full people working together and not consuming each other. After that, Randall makes one of the best, the cheesiest but tear-jerking proposal to which Beth finally says yes to.

The Vows

On their wedding day itself, Kate (Chrissy Metz) walks in on the bride who’s just writing their vows. After helping her out with some rhyming words, Beth asks Kate to stall for a little bit more. On the other hand, Kevin (Justin Hartley) finds out that the groom isn’t doing any better. When he asks Randall about the vows, he finds that Randall has written pages of a wedding dissertation rather than vows. When Beth overhears that Randall’s rewriting his vows, Beth charges to the bathroom where he’s locked up in.

Shutting her eyes and ordering Randall to do the same, Beth barges in. After chastising him about the vows, Beth tells Randall that she feels like she planned the wedding all by herself because Randall has taken the time to write the vows of a century. When Randall reconfirms this, Beth whips around and gives him the once over before taking back her statement. She then suggests that they write the vows together right then and there. Then they proceed to make one of the most breathtaking and pure vows in history.

The First Child

Another few years later at the birth of their first child, the couple is woken up by baby cries at 3 am. Half-asleep and exhausted, Randall changes his daughter’s diapers. Then, Beth comes in and nitpicks on how he does it. An argument ensues and ends up with a silly who can “pffft” louder until they’ve both got each other’s spit on their faces. By the end of it, none of them can even remember what they’re arguing about. So, Randall offers to make some nachos and get something in on their exhausted bodies.

While eating, the couple plays their worst-case scenario game about their daughter. Beth’s first is that she can’t dance. Randall’s is having a daughter who has a body full of tattoos. Beth’s last is that their baby will forget her once she goes back to work. It then leads to the same argument as before. To make it work, Beth has to adjust.

To explain, Beth categorizes nachos into three: the crumbs, the chipped nachos, and the whole nachos with lots of cheese and a whole lot of toppings. She points out that Randall is a whole nacho kind of guy without meaning to or realizing it. And she is as well. But, when she tips the bowl to show him, she’s only left with the chips and crumbs. Before Randall can argue with her on it, Beth drags him upstairs to get a little bit of shuteye before their baby wakes them up again.

The Dad and The Brother

Skip to a few years ahead and William and Kevin are already living at Beth and Randall’s home. Beth walks into the kitchen to find all three men having a merry conversation. And she tells Randall she won’t be home because she has a conference in Pennsylvania, so he has to pick up the kids in place of her. He agrees, and Beth goes on her merry way.

Ron Batzdorff/NBC

Later on, as Randall takes William out for a drive, they drop by a grocery store to pick up some pancake syrup at William’s request. While scouring the aisles, Randall spots Beth loading up on chips and a bottle of wine. He walks up to her and guesses that she’ll be spending the night at a hotel, watching movies, drinking wine, and eating Swedish fish. And Beth easily fesses up telling him that she’s overwhelmed and just needed a day to herself.

Randall’s concern, however, is why she didn’t simply ask for it rather than lying about it. Beth counters that she did ask. But, it just became a one-man show on why she had to have one day to herself alone, and when she got Randall’s approval, she was already exhausted. This time, she just snapped. And Randall let it go.

Before he goes, Randall asks what episode of Living Single she’ll first watch. And it soon becomes a reminiscing conversation that leads to Beth not wanting to watch it alone anymore. In the end, she decides to go home with Randall.

The Biggest Fight of Their Lives

Going back to the present, Beth finally comes down on Randall asking him to admit that he thinks his job is more important than hers. And to Randall, it’s reminiscent of when his parents were arguing about Rebecca’s singing career. But, he refuses to respond like how Jack did. Beth goes on and reminds him of all the times she stood by him and even stood back from her own dreams to support his. But, this time, she has found what she’s been looking for her whole life, and she is not giving it up. This time, she’s not willing to bend to make their lives work. And that’s the problem.

Randall almost speaks up but, Beth stops him before he can make any more wonderful speeches that would have her eating out of his palm. Randall goes on, however, and refuses to admit that he’s been steamrolling his wife this whole time. He refuses to apologize for Beth realizing her dream late in life. At any point of their marriage beforehand, he would’ve been fully supportive. But then, Beth explodes and asks at which point between his anxieties.

Realizing she’s crossed over the line, Beth tries to apologize. But, what’s said has been said. Randall walks out and defeatedly admits that he can’t be in the same house with her at that moment. That night, the couple sleeps far away from each other with tomorrow looking a lot bleaker than ever before.

This Is Us continues Tuesday, April 2nd, with “Her” at 8/7c on NBC.