The Revegenda Comes Undone in ABC Revenge’s “Exodus”

Feeling up to a little recap of last night’s seminal episode, Revengers?

Before we go any further, yes, we’re about to reveal just who shot Emily Throne, so if you’re not up to date with last night’s midseason finale bookmark us and come back as soon as you can. We’ll be waiting right here for you. Promise.

Back already? Good, let’s begin!

“Exodus” trotted out not just one but several red herrings over an hour of TV that favored methodical groundwork and careful reveals over splashy fireworks – although there were a few of those too. Like any whodunnit worth its salt, we considered just about every character as the potential shooter at some point.

Lydia successfully negotiated her way on board the family yacht, and with that ax to grind and an incriminating photo to hand (That thing goes everywhere with her these days. It’s probably her Facebook background by now) we entertained the notion, just briefly, that she might have the stones to do it.

Jack also parted company with Emily on quite a sour (read enraged) note, particularly when she dropped a bomb about being present to hear Amanda’s last words before she died. “And you’re just now saying this?” Yeah, we’re with you on this one too Jack. “You’re so selfish. You use everyone who cares about you. You’ve taken everything from me!” Jack froths.

Oooh! Are those fighting words? Apparently not. “Exodus” went on to see Jack regret his hasty remarks and even try to find and apologize to Emily later, which brings us to … Patrick.

Pictured: (L) Gabriel Mann as Nolan. (R) Justin Hartley as Patrick. He has puppy eyes. Look! Image © ABC.

There’s something about Justin Hartley’s portrayal of Patrick that makes me feel incredibly sorry for him. (Full disclosure: I may just be blinded by his abs!) Despite the whole ‘trying to kill Conrad’ thing (and who hasn’t at this point?) Patrick is the proverbial fish out of water, surrounded by Hamptonite sharks. Ok, I’m not really sure where I was going with that last overly-fishy metaphor, but suffice it to say, for now at least, Patrick presents an image of a young man who just wants everyone to get along. Convinced by Conrad to persuade Victoria to attend the wedding, Patrick spent most of the episode taunting Nolan with his handsome aloofness, glued to his mother’s side, or being tempted by the contents of Nolan’s wall safe. Look! It has a remote control!

Which leaves us with the actual shooter, and the unravelling of Emily’s careful revenge plan.

If Revenge did one thing right this season it was to present us with a flashback (flash-forward? Flash-should-have-been?) of Emily’s perfect heist going off without a hitch. Ala Ocean’s 11, we got to see  the set full set up, including the planting of the evidence, Aiden locking Victoria below decks (after she went to clean an ‘accidental’ spill from her dress), Emily’s bogus shots, and a delicious final slow-mo of Victoria being carted off in handcuffs, hair and makeup in disarray, and her face a mask of horror. Let’s be honest, on the revenge scale this was probably the most satisfying moment of the show. Ever. But before we had time to savor those just desserts, we got a clock rewind of 12 hours to illustrate how things really went down. Well done on a highly entertaining twofer Revenge. We got to have our wedding cake and eat it, last night.

Victoria takes the fall for Emily Throne’s murder. Except not. Pictured: Madeleine Stowe as Victoria Grayson. Image © ABC

Of course, what actually happened was that Lydia, now back in Conrad’s good graces, wormed her way onto the wedding yacht. Emily’s plan necessitated Victoria to be locked below decks while those all important shots were fired – obviously to negate any alibi she might have. But Lydia followed Victoria to her room, leaving Aiden with an impossible situation. Lock them both in? Or leave the door open? In the end, he opted for the latter, leaving Victoria free to confront Emily up top, armed with Lydia’s photograph (we hear Lydia’s getting it tattooed on her inner thigh soon) and a strong conviction that Emily is not in fact “with child.” It’s ok, you can go ahead and use the word “pregnant” any time Victoria. It’s not a naughty word.

Cue baby confession from Emily, more words slung, and Vicky’s GSR-laden bracelet gets tossed overboard. Seriously, what is with you Graysons and your penchant for tossing expensive jewellery into the deep?

In the end, Aiden physically restrained Victoria with what we can only assume is a handerchief soaked in sedative. Or it could have been a smelly gym sock. It was dark and I couldn’t see clearly. Either way, that left Emily alone and with just just under two minutes to sprinkle her blood, fire those shots, take a dive, swim to the buoy, don the scuba gear and make it to shore and the manly arms of Aiden. And also Jack. Because this is Emily Thorne and she’s not about to leave any shipper wanting. However, Victoria was not the only Grayson waiting in the wings to do a bit of speechifying. What is it about weddings? They tend to bring out the monologue in everyone.

Danny, now really quite drunk, and wracked with guilt over a phone message that Sarah tried to commit suicide, stumbles out onto the deck. Apparently Daniel has heard everything about there being no baby and Emily potentially being a gold-digger. For some reason, Daniel is especially aghast about not being a Dad. We’re glad he finally took a stand on his feelings about impending fatherhood, although we can’t commend his timing. He reaches for the gun, and spectacularly, he fires those shots.“You set me up. Two years! I bet you laughed at me every time I questioned you. You just fed me more of your lies. Why did you tell me I was going to be a father? Never mind. Eat lead. Pew Pew!” says Danny. Or words to that effect.

The Shooter Revealed: (L) Josh Bowman as Daniel Grayson. (R) Emily VanCamp as Emily Thorne. Image © ABC

We’re left with a haunting scene of Emily taking a plunge overboard, for reals this time, and as Aiden and Jack both search the beach for Emily (yes we know Jack really has no business being there but we’re more than happy to go with it.) we see her blood soaked wedding dress washing up on shore. Where is Emily Thorne? We’ll have to wait until January to find out more.

Were fans as happy with this episode as I was? Despite some terrible reporting from one online magazine in the weeks leading up to the event which practically gave away the identity of the shooter in return for some Twitter followers (ABC, please rethink your online marketing strategy, we implore you!) I was relatively surprised to discover Danny was the shooter.

Of course, this event has now pretty much swept all of the pieces off the board for January. Provided Emily returns to the Hamptons, how will she live? With hints already thrown about a possible ‘amnesia’ storyline for Emily (the classic soap opera trope) How will she and the Graysons get by knowing what they now know about her? Will Lydia move into the manor and oust Victoria? Did Patrick really go there? And if he did, what did he find in Nolan’s safe? And if Emily chooses to remain ‘dead’ will Daniel go down for her murder? These are all delicious questions. Is it January yet?

Random Notes:

1. How did Emily shimmy out of her dress?

2. Best line of the night goes to Nolan’s description of Victoria as “Mommy Drearest.”

3. “My Mom needs me right now,” is probably the lamest brushoff I’ve ever heard. Not even Justin Hartley could make this right.

4. The Graysons have the most ineffectual Paparazzi control on the Eastern seaboard. Yes, a single outstretched arm will contain that 50 strong hoard of frenzied snapping reporters, dude.

5. Check out the latest promo trailer for Revenge 3×11 “Homecoming” below.