The Quick and the Dead: Revenge “Secrecy” Review

Last night’s Revenge episode saw Lydia Davis (Amber Valletta) arising from the same smoke-and-mirror demise that felled Victoria last season.

Did anyone see this coming? Certainly not I.

However, Lydia’s return promises to be more exciting than Vicky’s, as Lydia has what Victoria never did: the cold and calculating balls to expose Conrad to the world in a scathing expose written and published for her by Voulez’s so far unsuccessfully investigative Margaux. Lydia is primed for an epic takedown of her own which promises to keep viewers engaged even after the sunset honeymoon massacre of Daniel’s new bride. Well done, Revenge.

Moving backward in time from that shocking end-of-episode reveal, we have Emily’s pregnancy announcement. The last relationship-cementing pregnancy between doomed lovers was Faux Amanda’s to Jack, but at least it was a real pregnancy though the paternity was questionable at first. This time, right when Emily’s evaporating engagement with Daniel seems unsalvageable, we’re given real Amanda with what we can only assume is a faux pregnancy. Talk about a desperate move, Ems. You’ve gone too far, girl. Are we expected to believe Daniel will go along with marrying her now? He’s just finally had a moment of pure joy in the arms of his long lost love, Sara, a joy which has empowered him to give Emily a final kiss-off. Expecting him to fall into line so easily defies rationality, but we have run out of time, friends. The next episodes should be doozies for this reason alone.

Revenge’s “Secrecy” had more going for it than these two recycled plot devices (Phoenix-like mavens rising from the ashes of downed airplanes to connive another day, and Embryos with the power to save doomed relationships), but these were the main shockers of the final hours before the bridal dive revengers have been speculating about for the first eight episodes of Revenge’s season three. Let’s review “Secrecy’s” other secrets and lies in descending order of most interesting to least.

Emily really was previously married. Surprise! Now we know Emily’s reveal to Bizzy Preston was not only truthful, but very effectively used as a stun gun to send a debilitating shock through Vctoria’s plot to derail the wedding. Ex spouse Rojan, it turns out, was Emily’s green card partner and fellow Tekada revenger, to whom she was wed for about five minutes before Emily returned to take down the Hamptons. Once again, Emily’s fanned the eggs Victoria threw at her right back into Vicky’s face.

Beyond shocking for Jack was Nolan’s revelation that Emily’s escape plan includes a happily ever after epilogue featuring Aiden Mathis. Bazinga! Jack is nonplussed. Moving Aiden back into the fray by having him room with Nolan was a little strange, but it works. But, poor Jack! The more subtle secret here (or is it just my imagination) is that Emily is still playing Aiden for a fool to keep him in line until her objective is reached.

As as aside, Nolan’s roommate rules were fantastic:
Rule 17: No fish for breakfast.
Rule 18: No killing on the premises. Rule to be disregarded if my life is in danger.
Rule 19: Always give a heads up call before coming home. I am on the rebound, so don’t kill my vibe.

Not so much of a secret to us, but apparently a revelation to Daniel is that Emily is just like his mother. Daniel reveals he wants nothing to do with Emily any longer and wants to finally be with Sara. When he comes to these conclusions he’s alone with Sara in the generations-old secret ManCave Conrad gave him the keys to earlier in the episode.  You’re a little late to the game on this one, Daniel. How Daniel can be so pretty, yet so naieve at the same time continues to baffle.

While at the ManCave and in the arms of Sara who refuses to sleep with him until he’s cleaned up the Emily mess, two other secrets come to light. First, that the necklace Emily had assumed was her engagement gift from Daniel was, in reality, a diamond necklace he’d kept for Sara since it broke from her neck during the car accident that rendered her disabled and him persona non grata to her family. Emily, you in for a big nasty surprise next time you see Sara’s neck!

Secondly, Victoria alerts Emily to the existence of the ManCave and Daniel’s tryst there with Sara. For a moment it appears that Victoria is handing Emily a remote control for her to watch her betrothed making out with his long lost love. To our relief, it is just a phone, but the evidence is just as damning as the ManCave’s ‘Alfred’ confirms that Daniel is there with Sara.

Charlotte posed for ‘artistic’ photos for a photographer boyfriend while in Europe and is now being blackmailed. What? This thread was oddly placed and not given much meat. It appeared that it’s sole purpose was to give Charlotte a reason to team up with Aiden, and give Jack a reason to confront Emily about her post-death life plans with Aiden. More than anything, however, it was just awkward.

Finally, Aiden reveals to Nolan that he’s planning something nefarious for Emily’s wedding take-down that he forbids Nolan to reveal to Emily. We don’t yet know what plan Aiden has in the making, but the intensity with which he presents it is highly promising.

All in all, there were lots of secrets bandied about in this episode. We’re left to speculate on what will happen for Emily and her crew between now and the nuptials, and pray that it all comes together in a manner that’s both entertaining and credible.

Revenge returns Sunday December 8 with “Surrender.”