LUCIFER “Homewrecker” Recap

By Chris B

In a Bel-Air mansion, the latest corpse is Dean Cooper, a real estate tycoon who owns the entire city block in which Lux resides, among other things.  He’s suffered from “explosive exsanguination” once his carotid was punctured by glass from a champagne flute.  Live by the bubbly, die by the bubbly, I suppose.

Once Ella reassembles the tiny shards of the champagne flute (while still at the crime scene, within mere minutes), then gets a result on a conveniently large thumb print (in totally believable fashion), it is discovered that Eric Cooper, Dean’s son, is their best suspect for his death.  That lasts until they arrive at his building downtown, and he greets them on the street—after jumping off of his balcony.  Shucks.

Eric ends up in a full-body cast, but he regains consciousness and is able to speak (in full, coherent sentences) to explain (in totally believable fashion) that dear old dad had run the business into the ground, and he had tried to off himself to avoid the disappointment of his wife-to-be.  Eric’s “insatiable lust for Daddy’s cold hard cash” was real enough, but it was just an emergency move to save what they had left.  The property on the strip was sold, but it didn’t matter to the business.  And luckily, the business doesn’t matter to Eric’s fiance because, as she tells him (in completely believable fashion) that what they have is worth more to her.  After this, I concur with Lucifer as being “definitely nauseated.”

Lux’s new owner is Eleanor Bloom, and she makes the Cooper family look like the Brady Bunch.  Her deepest desire: to own everything that Dean Cooper had and destroy it.  That includes Lux, which she intends to knock down and replace with a mega-mall.  To keep to that end, she reveals that Dean Cooper was making hundreds of thousands of dollars of off-the-books payments and hiding them from his company.

Dean’s questionable secret payments were going to Simon Hallbrooks, a private detective, or as he calls himself, “a professional tempter.”  His job is to test the loyalty of people by offering them bribes to see if they’ll bite.  It seems Dean did not have a good feeling about Kristy, his son’s intended, but the girl was not interested.  No matter—Dean had Simon fabricate evidence to show Eric, thereby creating a prime motive for murder.

When Lucifer and Decker confront Eric and Kristy, both confess, willing to head to the gallows together, if necessary.  Isn’t love grand?

Broken Home

Maze impresses upon Lucifer the unlikely coincidence of all of this upheaval occurring just after he’s told his mother of his feelings about Earth as his home.  He is unwilling to accept that—after all, “American Psycho’s father…was killed in a fit of human passion,” not divine intervention.

What a huge shock that Amenadiel does not see Mommy’s hand in the eviction, either, and Charlotte shows up in time to sneer at Maze for her cute attempt at figuring out any of her goddess plans.  Then, Amenadiel idiotically supplies her with ammunition:  “Lucifer loves [Lux], and no human is going to make him give it up as long as it is still standing.”  Nice job, buddy.  Charlotte’s wheels visibly turn as she slinks from the room.

Next, Charlotte appoints herself as the lawyer of an explosives expert (after nearly killing his former attorney) to coerce his help with Lucifer.  That man, who is being interrogated by Detective Douche, has his bail posted by Mommy Morningstar in exchange for his rigging Lux to fall to the ground.  However, Lucifer convinces the moving guys to indulge in a little debauchery, so the place fills up with people, forcing the bomber to get cold feet as murder is not his game.

Charlotte saunters into the club, all sweetness and smiles to Lucifer, pretending to be interested in what he wants so she doesn’t lose him again.  He, as the most naive immortal being ever, is thrilled.  He introduces her to Dr. Linda, who is wowed to be in the presence of “God’s ex-wife,” but is equally steadfast in her refusal to tell Mom anything about her sessions with Lucifer.  Meeting someone with a backbone (as neither of her sons can display this trait around her for very long) temporarily stymies Charlotte.

Then, as Lucifer and Chloe spin sweetly together under the lights, Charlotte watches from above with Dr. Linda.
“He really does love this place, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, this place.”
Dr. Linda’s obvious implication about Lucifer’s feelings for the detective gives Momma just the trigger she’s been looking for.

Amenadiel and Maze follow Charlotte to a clandestine meeting, the former to protect, the latter to condemn.  Neither, though, are prepared for whom she is there to meet:  Detective Douche himself.  Dan seems to be exhibiting the very brainlessness that Charlotte had earlier attributed to attractive people such as him, giddy that she felt there was a “spark” between the two of them when they’d met in the interrogation room (right, when she implied his stupidity—how romantic!)  They commiserate over bad break-ups before she manhandles and seduces him, much to Amenadiel’s disgust.

Once she’s had her way with Dan, Charlotte makes a hurried phone call to her bomber and orders up a “smaller charge” for one person.  Uh-oh.

Home is Where the Heart Is

“This is my home.”  So said Lucifer last week.  But is he sure he wants to stay in Los Angeles, that den of iniquity?

Duh.

According to Lucifer, the Silver City, where his mother and brother wish to return, was never his home; nor was Hell, a place “like the DMV but less screaming.”  While Amenadiel may have “a stick so far up his ass you can see it when he yawns,” Lucifer is on a journey, one either of “running or looking,” though he is not yet sure which it is.

When Lucifer is called away to Lux to deal with the problem of his eviction.  he finds Eric Cooper in the midst of dealing with his recent crushing loss by skipping around the city, hot on the trail of all of his dad’s spoils.  Even the devil himself cannot determine if that merits horror or admiration.  Moral ambiguity, indeed.  Turns out that a lease written in lipstick on a stripper’s thong is not legally binding, but before Lucifer can make an observation that this news will likely have Trump making some very nervous phone calls, he’s told to vacate.

Later, when Chloe gets word of the illegal party at Lux, she heads there and shoos away the uniformed officers with an assurance that she “can reason with him; this doesn’t need to be a scene.”  Once they’re gone, she looks at Lucifer like he’s nuts—for turning the music off.  “Lucifer, this is your home; I’ve always been on your side.”  He is so overjoyed, he pulls her onto the dance floor, where he cajoles her into actually loosening up and having some fun.

Lucifer is dismayed that Chloe’s initially got no long-term solution for his club, especially given all of its history—a crack in the mirror from a glass tossed at Sinatra by Ava Gardner, a web of Prohibition tunnels running under it, and the like.  Hey, Wiseman, could we possibly be headed for yet another landmark saved from development by its historical roots?  What a surprise!  Is Lucifer going to go to the city building and make a speech about how the American Dream is dead, too, so we can make that Sleepy Hollow tie complete?  No?  Just wondering.  Well, at least he’s got his own lady cop to intervene on his behalf.  Close enough.

When Chloe saves Lux, Lucifer is uncharacteristically speechless, and the simple logic of “friends help each other out” is baffling to him.  Later, he seeks interpretation from Dr. Linda, and she suggests that perhaps his journey—what he’s actually been searching for all along—has come to an end in Los Angeles because he has found what he’s sought, and it isn’t some dusty building.

This throws him, enough to stand up Chloe on the celebratory dinner date they’d made.  As she leaves the restaurant, disappointed and alone, we see the explosive charge under her car, ready to do its job, with Charlotte in the shadows holding the detonator.

Lucifer’s new world is about to go up in smoke.