‘Fear the Walking Dead’ Season 4, Episode 16 ‘…I Lose Mysef’ Finale Recap: A Bad Ending

Fear the Walking Dead’s Season 4 finale is a prime example of a lousy way to end the show. True, this season had it’s notable high’s but all expectations for an excellent ending to the fourth season were all wiped out in tonight’s episode, titled “… I Lose Myself.” You could even call this a solo Morgan episode that would have worked as a filler episode somewhere within season 4. But instead, it’s used as a weird bookend.

“… I Lose Myself” sees Morgan (Lennie James) trying to turn Martha (Tonya Pinkins) from her twisted ways. She loses her shit whenever she hears the word “help,” so Morgan goes out of his way (literally) to change her mind. Meanwhile, as the rest of the gang get ready to head over to Alexandria in Virginia, an odd occurrence happens—they all get sick, and it’s up to not-doctor Morgan to save the day.

Heading Out

The episode opens with Al (Maggie Grace) running away from a herd of Walkers. She gets trapped in an alley, so she breaks into a parking complex. There, she finds a walkie and tries to radio Morgan and the others. It dies, but luck is on her side. Al spots a news van with complete video equipment. She takes them, hot-wires a police car and drives back to the hospital, hoping to reunite with her group. She arrives at chaos—corpses were strewn all over the place, and cars with guts spilled on them. Martha then surprises her and knocks her unconscious, using Walker Jim (Aaron Stanford) as bait. Take note, Al had a fully-loaded shotgun with her, but for some blasted reason, she refused to shoot Martha when Al obviously had the upper hand.

Ryan Green/AMC

Later, Al wakes up in the SWAT van with John (Garret Dillahunt) and June (Jenna Elfman). They did hear her on the walkie and found her lying unconscious. Outside, we see Morgan watching a video message left by Martha to Al. “I am so disappointed in you, Morgan,” Martha said in the video. “I gave you so many chances to be strong, but you didn’t take any of them.”

Morgan then tells them that they’ll be leaving supply boxes on their way to Alexandria. That night, Morgan rewatches the video and is determined to help change Martha’s disposition about being “strong.” John sees him and refuses to let him go. He doesn’t want him to leave them again, so John gives Morgan two days to wait for him at Sarah (Mo Collins) and Wendell’s (Daryl Mitchell) truck stop before leaving for Alexandria.

Morgan leaves, and radios into Martha that he’s coming for her. He heads out to mile marker 54.

Morgan’s Weird Crusade and the Anti-Freeze villain

Morgan arrives at the mile marker while the other group rests at the truck stop. Morgan sees Walker Jim and kills him. He then finds Martha sprawled over her husband’s grave and proceeds to help her out, despite her refusal. He drags her into a waiting police car and drives off.

Back at the truck stop, Al replenishes the SWAT van’s ammo while the rest of the group enjoy a warm cup of coffee. June and John also get a bit emotional and intimate. “I know myself now because of you,” June says to John.

In the car, Martha tries to bang on the divider and urges Morgan to drop her off. Morgan offers some medicine for her injury, but she refuses to take it. Morgan radios into the group that he’s coming back with Martha. But since he’s too out of range, he cuts out before any of the others could reply. They can only hear him if his walkie is in range, according to Sarah. They can hear him (thanks to the high-end radio equipment), but Morgan won’t.

As Al finishes up her SWAT van cleanup, a small group of Walkers approaches her. She tries to fight them off but collapses. Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) shoots them as June and Strand (Colman Domingo) bring Al into the truck stop. More Walkers are coming after hearing the gunshots.

As Morgan drives, Martha tells him about her husband and how nobody bothered helping her. Morgan understood where she’s coming from and sees a little bit of himself in her. Morgan then gets a message from June saying that they’re all sick with what Al had (stomach flu? “infectious” hypoglycemia? At this point, anything is possible). Martha then asks for the medicine but pulls Morgan’s arm when her hands it over to her. The police car crashes. Morgan wakes up in a doozy, with Martha writing “I lose people, I lose myself” on his forehead. Morgan tries to get back on the driver’s seat but sees that his leg is injured by a piece of metal lodged into it.

Ryan Green/AMC

Martha also reveals that she’been bitten it and tells Morgan to kill her. If not, she will kill him. She also taunts Morgan that June and all the others will die.

Back at the truck stop, a horde forms just outside of the mini-grocery. The group doubles over in pain, and June tells them that they all have to stay hydrated. That’s when she learns that the water was poisoned. Al, for some reason, figures out that it’s all Martha’s doing. June radios into Morgan, telling him that Martha poisoned them. Martha doesn’t deny it and says that its antifreeze. For a moment, Morgan loses himself and tries to choke Martha. But he snaps out of it and instead handcuffs Martha to the police car and leaves to save his group.

Ryan Green/AMC

Morgan walks around to get to them. Despite many tries of contacting them via walkie and telling them that its antifreeze, he gets no response. June and the rest of the group grow weaker by the minute. Morgan finally finds a car, hot-wires it and drives until it runs out of fuel. He then resumes walking.

A hopeless Al watches her interviews on the video camera; this somehow makes her tear up and gives her the drive to survive. Al reaches out to Morgan. In a desperate attempt to contact them, Morgan walks until he’s in range. He then tells them that it’s antifreeze, which Al hears. June then tells the rest of them that ethanol is the antidote. Sarah then tells June that there’s a truck tank full of ethanol outside.

Fight to Survive

With the remaining strength left in them, the group prepares to run for the ethanol truck. June and Charlie (Alexa Nisenson) distract the Walkers inside while Alicia, John, and Wendell shoot at them. Strand and Luciana (Danay Garcia) make a run for the ethanol truck. Al climbs into the SWAT van and prepares for the worst. When the Walkers seem to overpower everyone, Al shoots at the horde with the van’s machine gun. The Walkers drop dead, but the bullets also put holes in the truck, draining the ethanol. The group runs back into the grocery with their health slowly deteriorating.

Ryan Green/AMC

A side comment: what in the actual hell?! The bullet holes weren’t even that big, so it’s impossible that all the goddamn ethanol ran out in just a matter of seconds. And since Strand and Luci had buckets with them, why didn’t they use the leak to at least get ethanol into the bucket? Seriously, this show’s logic is full of shit.

June then tells Morgan via walkie that they weren’t able to get the ethanol. Conveniently set up for plot complication, Morgan’s walkie dies. He loses hope but is determined to get back to them.

The group appears to be running out of time. Luckily, Morgan arrives in a truck full of beer. Morgan’s logic: ethanol is the same thing as ethanol, so why not use beer to flush the antifreeze out? (I was laughing out loud at that so hard). The group finally recuperates and toasts with a bottle of beer. Strand and Alicia share a touching moment of having to share a beer together. Strand thought he wouldn’t be able to do so again, but Alicia is there to fill in for the job of drinking buddy.

Ryan Green/AMC

A new start

Morgan and the group return to where he left Martha. He sees her severed arm intact, but Martha’s body a couple of meters away and reanimated as a Walker. Morgan stabs her in the head. They bury Martha and Morgan tells them that they’re not going to Alexandria anymore. Martha’s story made Morgan think that if no one else would stop for people who need help, nothing good would ever come from it. He says that people need their help.

Morgan leads them to an abandoned jeans company that was in Polar Bear’s journals. It’s a place full of supplies, and its where he decided to keep on truckin’ and leave boxes behind at different mile markers. This is how they should help. But Alicia has another thing in mind—keep Madison’s legacy alive by building the place into something more. When Strand asks about how they’ll find people, Al suggests that they start with the people she interviewed in the area.

Ryan Green/AMC

And so begins Morgan’s “Helping Crusade.” They stack up on supplies in different vehicles to form a convoy. They head out, and Morgan blasts a radio broadcast telling anyone listening that they are coming to help them.

‘Fear the Walking Dead: … I Lose Myself’ Overall Verdict

“… I Lose Myself” is the shittiest Walking Dead finales of all Walking Dead finales. Season 4, on the other hand, proved to be a greater disappointment too. True, some episodes had strong storylines, but nothing could ever redeem Fear the Walking Dead Season 4. Tonight’s episode was a shameful way of concluding the season, but then again what could be more distasteful than season 4? It’s hard to see where Fear the Walking Dead is going, but I’m pretty sure that season 5 could be another shitshow that would drag on for 16 more episodes.

This show doesn’t deserve a new season. I wish it were one of those canceled earlier this year, that way we could all officially treat FearTWD season 3 as the series finale. But there’s hope next week. The Walking Dead returns with a new showrunner and a hope that it might be bringing us back to the great show that Dead will always be.

As for Fear the Walking Dead, this is my goodbye. It’s been a great ride; and good luck with your fifth season.