Coach’s Foul Play, the “M” Word and More on New Girl’s “Longest Night Ever”

By Nicole Bozzani

Relationships may come and go but for Schmidt and the rest of the gang on New Girl it may not be that simple.

In “Longest Night Ever” Coach asks Schmidt’s permission to ask Cece out on a date. After Schmidt accidentally agrees (but won’t take it back), he is forced into spending date night locked in the apartment with Jess and Nick. That is until Winston, who previously asks Nick to babysit Ferguson, returns home from a party to discover Nick has left a window open and Ferguson has gone missing. Nick and Winston leave Jess to contain Schmidt in the loft while they search for the beloved cat. Meanwhile Coach and Cece head off to the Staples Center to catch a basketball game where Cece gets more than she bargained for.

If there was one high point to the “Longest Night Ever” it was Schmidt. He accidentally, through a series of far too strong and frequent high fives, lets Coach ask Cece out. How does he handle his epic fail? With peach cobbler, of course. The downward spiral commences and while quite sad and somewhat strange, it was about as comical as the episode got.

His countless attempts to escape Jess were entertaining, and Fat Schmidt’s return in a flashback after a sad open mic night experience were high points. Jess hitting Schmidt with her car,while mostly predictable, garnered a little chuckle. The most endearing part about Schmidt’s storyline is how realistic it feels. It’s hard to be in love with someone you can’t have, and it’s a feeling many us can relate to.

It was predictable that Coach would ask Cece out, and that he would be fairly flashy on their date. Great seats at a Lakers game, all the merchandise she could ever need (but not particularly want), and seven pretzels? Really? It’s hard to watch this progress not because shipping Schmidt and Cece should be a thing, but because when Coach finally bares his heart to Cece about being nervous about their date it’s actually endearing. The Coach we’ve seen to date has been somewhat annoying and cocky but now we see that he’s a real human being with real emotions, after all.

Cece (Hannah Simone, R) and Coach (Damon Wayans, Jr., L) go out on a date in New Girl’s “Longest Night Ever.” Co. Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

When it comes to Winston, and the great return of Ferguson, things get stranger. Winston is an individual. He’s different. His best friend is Grumpy Cat, and well, he can’t remember how to talk to women. Fortunately for him, and uncomfortably for Nick, he meets the woman who found his cat. They hit it off which is great (because Winston is finally back in the game), but it’s also kinda gross at the same time. Winston’s date proves soout there even someone way out in left field would miss her, but Ferguson returns and that’s what really mattered here.

One unforgettable moment included Jess’ nonchalant drop of the marriage bomb on Nick. It was unexpected and created a very vocal “oh my God” moment. Not to make a mountain out of a minuscule mole hill, but there’s zero way this show can continue with anything like that. Please forgo this idea at least for now. Episodes already feel like they are slipping into no man’s land. It’s not time to jump the shark.

“Longest Night Ever” saw the possibility of new budding romances and the realization one may have to get over, if even just for now, the loss of their true love. Will Coach and Cece become an item? Will Winston have a future with Hamster Woman? Where the heck did Jess get that car? The holidays are coming and that’s sure to create a whole new world of possibilities for the gang in apartment 4D.

For now recall, friends don’t call friends pathetic and girls with flip phones are extremely poor or time travelers.