‘American Horror Story: 1984’ Season 9, Episode 3 ‘Slashdance’ Review: A Camp Full of Killers

Just when you thought you’ve got parts of this whole slasher story figured out, American Horror Story: 1984 takes a detour that brings all our theories—at least some of them—to shame.

It’s a crazy week as the show shits on all the theorizing and conclusions that were in everyone’s minds after last week’s backstory-laden chapter. Tonight’s episode, titled “Slashdance,” slashes and dices us to bits as shocking revelations are uncovered. In a nutshell, our characters are not who we think they are. There’s something deeper going on here (not in a supernatural sense but at this point who knows), and it involves a lot of key characters in this season of American Horror Story.

In “Slashdance,” the Camp Redwood group tries to escape from Mr. Jingles (John Carroll Lynch) and the Night Stalker aka Richard Ramirez (Zach Villa). But their efforts are sidetracked by teenage pranksters as they dress up like Mr. Jingles to commemorate that bloody night in 1970. But it looks like there’s more to these killers than meets the eye.

Strap yourselves in; this is going to be a bumpy, spoiler-filled ride.

Rita Is a Fake-ass Nurse

The first bombshell that dropped earlier in the episode has something to do with Rita (Angelica Ross), Camp Redwood’s resident nurse—or so we thought. As the Night Stalker chases after Ray (DeRon Horton), Chet (Gus Kenworthy), Brooke (Emma Roberts), and Rita, it’s revealed that our caring nurse has something more sinister in mind. She’s not the real Rita but actually a psychologist named Donna Chambers. She’s deeply fascinated by studying serial killers, most especially Mr. Jingles aka Benjamin Richter.

Jingles’ breakout from Dr. Hopple’s asylum happened all thanks to Donna. She wanted to study his movements and personality “in the field,” that’s why Donna coaxed Jingles into returning to Camp Redwood. And for some freaky reason, Donna is one of those people who subscribe to Ted Bundy’s belief that porn makes people (specifically psychopathic killers) want to go on a killing spree. And because she wanted to be closer to her subject, Donna ties up the real Nurse Rita so she can watch Jingles closely.

Seriously, I don’t even believe Donna’s claim of being a psychologist. Everything about her screams bullshit to me.

It’s a Jingles Party Night!

Trevor (Matthew Morrison), Xavier (Cody Fern), and Montana (Billie Lourd) are in total deep shit. As they run from what they believed was Mr. Jingles, it’s revealed that a bunch of teenage pranksters like to commemorate Jingles’ fateful night in 1970 by dressing up as the killer and terrorizing people. Of course, their fun is cut short when the real Jingles himself guts them one by one (although he did skip over one guy who had asthma… possibly out of pity).

Meanwhile, Ray and Chet are separated from Brooke and Rita, both jocks fall into a pit full of spikes. Chet is impaled, while Ray decides between helping the poor chap or bailing and saving himself. That’s when he also confesses to accidentally killing a Frat Pledge a year ago. The pledge fell off a flight of stairs, and Ray thought he was dead. So to cover things up, he decided to dump his body in a ravine while sticking him in a car. It was an alright plan until he realizes that the pledge is still alive. This has haunted Ray since, and it’s only a matter of time before the cops find out that he’s involved in the poor pledge’s plunge.

Finally, Ray decides that it’s better to save himself than face the wrath of the killers with Chet. He leaves the bleeding Chet and accidentally bumps into Trevor, Montana, and Xavier. Trevor instructs Ray to partner up with Montana and drive his motorcycle to call the cops—another split-up mistake waiting to happen.

Before that, Trevor, Xavier, and Montana discovered the real Nurse Rita as they hid from Jingles. At least we know that Donna’s bullshit won’t stick for long. The real Rita doesn’t survive the night, though, as Mr. Jingles sees her and impales her using a boat paddle.

So yeah, we get it, Ray is a fucking coward. Luckily, Trevor and Xavier discover Chet lying in the pit and tells them about Ray’s lies. As they pull Chet up to safety, Mr. Jingles arrives. Trevor rushes to push him in the stake pit only to discover that it’s just one of Mr. Jingles’ impersonators (asthma guy).

Fuck All Your Theories, Because

But perhaps the biggest WTF moment of tonight’s episode of American Horror Story is the reveal of the Night Stalker’s true intentions and allegiance. As Ray and Montana struggle to find Trevor’s motorcycle key, the Night Stalker catches up to them. Fearing for his life, Chet leaves Montana behind and speeds out of the camp until Jingles beheads him shortly after.

Back in the parking lot, the Night Stalker approaches to Montana to MAKE OUT—like an intense, full-on, make-out-and-bite-my-lip session. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Montana then shoves the Night Stalker and furiously asks him, “why haven’t you killed her yet?”

Only time will tell if she’s referring to Brooke or Leslie Grossman’s Margaret Booth.

‘American Horror Story: 1984 — Slashdance’ Overall Verdict

What a ride. This is the typical twist that American Horror Story has been slapping us with since the first season. Again, it’s noticeably short, but comes packed with intense action, bloody kills, and actual scream-in front-of-the-screen twists. The James Wong-written episode leaves nothing to be mushy over as it never stops building up the anticipation for what’s to come. Mary Wigmore’s direction gives “Slashdance” the jittery goodness that this beautiful slasher season drops every week.

Now, BRB trying to process everything that went down today. I think I’ll hole up in the basement for a while.

American Horror Story: 1984 continues Wednesday, October 9th, with “True Killers” at 10/9c on FX.